my name is tom

my grandma told me to write a song

about how i feel:

i will.

sorry though, i probably won't share it with you.

look at me now

during those moments when i feel a shade of melancholy blue,

i look around me.

i see the people i love & admire.

& in a wistful sort of way,

i imagine how they see me through their eyes.

& i think.

if i could see myself through your eyes,

would i sit here & cry?

or rather, would i find hope in life's bittersweet kiss,

knowing that there is yet more to come?

i know that if you could see yourself through my eyes,

you'd feel nothing but admiration.

you'd realize your influence & your beauty,

& just how much your friendship means to me.

you might see the instant relief when i call you,

& before i can sputter

"are you free to talk?"

your love discerns the disconnect in my speech.

if i could see myself through their eyes,

would i still feel alone?

or rather, would i feel the undeniable strength 

that we've built from years of love & experience?

i know that if they could see themselves through my eyes,

they'd feel nothing but unspoken love.

they'd understand my humility & commitment,

& realize it was all because of their efforts.

they might see the hope seeping into my heart,

as i come home to open arms,

"i'll always love you."

the words resonate within.

what a beautiful thing it is,

the gift of sight.

though sometimes, 

it takes heartbreak, fear, or trials

in order for us to gain a clear view;

life moves forward.

give love freely & never regret doing so,

for life is beautiful.

it is up to us to choose

whether or not we will continue to see

la vie en rose.

"i believe that my life's gonna see

the love i give return to me."

full moons & pensive things

this is the playlist i can always return to,

on nights like tonight;

nights with full moons & blue skies.

love is a burning thing

i have never particularly been a fan of photos like this one.

photos showing young boys & girls acting in love.

i don't like them.

i've never known why,

until,

i had a sort of deep epiphany when i saw this picture:

i don't know what it was about this picture, but it rubbed me the wrong way.

i know, i know.
there's nothing bad about this picture;

it's supposed to be adorable.

my reaction is really just a personal issue.

i think this issue begins somewhere along the lines of,

i treasure childhood innocence.

in almost a holden caulfield sort of way,

i repel anything that spoils the innocence of childhood memories.

these pictures aren't necessarily spoiling any childhood innocence,

except,

the concept of a child loving the way an adult loves.

adults' love is not innocent.

adults' love is heartbreaking,

challenging,

tumultuous,

& at times, deceptive.

children do not love that way.

children love without thinking.

they truly do love with innocence.

it is a beautiful thing.

but i am not condemning the love amongst adults,

quite the opposite, in fact.

i find it demeaning to put an adult's love

in the hands of children-- so to speak.

i don't think children can hold or comprehend the gravity of an adult's love.

i think that is why children can never quite grasp the love a parent has for their child

until they themselves have a child of their own.

this is a love that is not innocent,

& endures all sorts of trials,

but is, in my opinion, the highest degree of love.

though it can be a

"can't live with it, can't live without it" type of ordeal,

this love is strong & very powerful.

i cherish this kind of love.

this kind of love where two people recognize one another's

faults & issues,

& yet, love one another despite them.

& though we are at times guilty of being rude, wrong, or unforgivable, 

this kind of love will hold to what is true & what is right.

it forgives the faults of each others' love.

it is the hardships that entail this love,

that make it so powerful & moving.

so when i see a picture,

depicting two innocent children

loving

in an adult sort of way,

i am bothered.

the love of a child is innocent & beautiful.

we should never want to replace it with an adult sort of love.

nor should we diminish the gravity of adult love by putting it in such a scene

(whether for a child or lover).

love is amazing in whatever form it comes it.

i hope to always perceive love,

& to always embrace it.

one world is enough

often times,

i feel like i am too small to make a difference in this world.

i get caught up with the "big picture"

& lose sight of what really matters:

the day to day, person to person, interactions.

those are what make a difference.

every time i watch this video,

i am moved (almost) to tears.

it is so amazing to me,

to see all these people, in places all over the world,

coming together to just dance.

we are all different,

but in a sense,

we are all the same.

living, breathing, loving

the same.

together.