the 5 stages of incessant pop music

i think, some people actually like pop music.  i imagine they get in their cars, flip on the radio, & contently--no, excitedly listen to whatever new song some sell-out record company paid a pretty face to sing... & then they sing along to it.

not me--i don't do that.  i mean, i don't do that at first.  but sometimes, these darn bubblegum pop songs are unavoidably catchy.  this is the case with taylor swift's newish song, "we are never ever getting back together".

stage #1  -  denial

i was driving with my family when my brother nik first showed us the song.  he, being a loyal t. swift lover, showed it to the family & denied any idea that taylor swift could have co-written such pathetic lyrics to a song.  this is seriously a taylor swift song?  no way, i can't believe it.  the song wasn't licensed to be on youtube yet, so we could only hear distorted chipmunk versions of it.  i decided to give it the benefit of the doubt, until i got home & could hear the "real" version.

stage #2  -  anger

it was another week before i heard the "real" version of this song.  i had sat down in my car, devastated once i realized my ipod was dead, & reluctantly flipped on the radio.  (sometimes, i can't drive without music. literally.)  "....never ever ever getting back together.  you go talk to--" what the heck?  taylor, seriously?  what is wrong with artists these days?  i changed the station, only to hear "...remember when we broke up, the first time. saying this is it, i've had enough..."  so i turned off the radio & opted to listen to my 12 year old brother's cd mix he made 4 years ago of slightly less annoying rock-pop songs.

stage #3  -  compromising

a couple weeks later i was in st. george with some friends.  i had some unknown catchy tune stuck in my head.  ooooooh-ooo-oo-oo-ooooh  i couldn't help but sing it over & over again until my friend chimed in the rest of the lyrics, "this time, i'm telling you, i'm telling you, we--" crap!  that's that song? i hastily explained how i didn't realize what i was singing & we mutually expressed our dislike for it.  ....but it's so catchy!  & did you know the whole music video was made in one continuous shot?

stage #4  -  depression/defeat

after rationalizing my way into purchasing this song on itunes, i was overcome with disappointment.  i gave in again?  but this music is so bad.  i can't believe myself.  i am just as worthless as other pop-music sell-outs. the only thing that could drown out my own thoughts of self-degradation was the same bubblegum pop song that had started this whole mess.  but in a tantrum like manner, i exited itunes & shut off my computer without even putting the song onto my ipod.

stage #5  -  acceptance

i guess it's not thaaaaat bad... i wonder if nik likes it yet? will he judge me if i sing it around him..?  screw it.

ps:  this is my attempt at being funny.  sort of like one of my favorite blogs... www.hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com

foolin' around

wednesday night i went to the black keys concert.

it was too much fun!

conley came with me.

he cracks me up.

it was a good night sitting with him,

jamming to my favorite tunes,

& secretly mocking the girls getting high in front of us.

the black keys were awesome.

dan auerbach wailed on the guitar.

 but my favorite moment was when they played my favorite baby-makin' song:

everlasting light.

it was the first of their encore songs

which they played with disco balls rotating bouncing light of them

in a very psychedelic manner.

i loved it.

thursday i got my wisdom teeth out.

as far as i can tell,

the anesthesia & pain meds have had no effect on my ability to articulate.

however, my family repeatedly tells me i was acting very strange.

lindsay came to visit me [the sweetheart].

& i decided to watch jaws in honor of removing 4 teeth from my jaw.

while i was watching jaws,

i had a surprise visit from slams!

then along came conley, whitney, & curtis.

they took me to get my ice cream & pudding fix since i'm on a liquid only diet.

it sucks.

later that night dearest isabelle brought me a smoothie

& we sat & chatted about boys, her mission, & stuff.

friday came along soon enough,

& the nicest guy carterini brought me a tiger's blood frazzle!

i've never had a frazzle before.

it was good.

friday night was fun.

it was a sibling hang out session between the estradas & diederichs.

zunu & johanna with me & rachel

+ carter haha.

we sat taking pictures & making videos on photobooth

then watched a few slightly creepy home videos

where my siblings & i had formed an elaborate "wet pants tribe" ritual

in order to prank our pops into sitting in a bowl of water.

it worked [of course].

anyway, my head still hurts but there's not much we can do about that.

& in case anyone was wondering, all liquid diets suck.

& no, it's not as much fun as you'd think to sit & eat pudding & ice cream all day.

it's not like it sounds.

i want a bean & cheese burrito from del taco.

i want baked artichoke.

i want a turkey & cheese sandwich with mustard.

i want foooooooood!

flashback

driving home from st. george today,

rachel's ipod threw me back to elementary school/junior high days.

back when my sister was getting albums like:

i was whistling the tune to a different genre.

besides the music i got from dad, albums like:

were what filled my original ipod mini.

i was always the edgy, different sister,

rachel was always the blue-eyed angel.

i couldn't help but laugh as the following songs played on rachel's ipod

& as i happily sang every word by heart.

good reads

so, i noticed on my dear friend amy's blog that she posts all of the books she reads,

each year, on her side columns.

that's what i've started to do this year.

the reason why is because i loved looking at what books she was reading

& getting books to read off that list.

i thought you might like to do the same.

in addition to listing the books on the side,

i'll post a blog about each book i read, after i've finished it, giving it a little review.

i'll rate it on a scale of 1-10 in my preference,

& i'll explain why it received that rating.
10 = i absolutely loved it & will read it again.
1 = i didn't like it at all & would never recommend anyone read it.

(a little elementary, i know, but i think it will be fun.)

so let's begin.

book #1  the hunger games  by: suzanne collins

rating:  5

i found this book to be a very quick read, but a good story.

i don't usually like reading "popular" teen fiction,

because i'm usually disappointed with the quality of writing.

this was the case with the hunger games, but it was a very interesting story.

i'd recommend this to younger kids who like reading stories.

book #2  catching fire  by: suzanne collins

rating: 4

this book was the second of the hunger games series.

i read it because i hate not finishing book series,

but like the first book, the quality of writing was very average.

the storyline was still interesting, although, it felt very similar to book one.

again, i'd recommend this to younger kids who like reading stories

& who have already read the first of the series.

book #3  mockingjay  by: suzanne collins

rating: 4

this was the third & final of the hunger games series.

this was not very different from the way i felt about books one or two,

but, i didn't care for the storyline as much.

i found it awkward how noticeably critical of modern politics it was,

for such a fictional futuristic story.

& again, i'd only recommend this to a younger kid who was finishing the series

(just for the sake of finishing it).

book #4  norwegian wood  by:  haruki murakami

rating:  5

this book was interesting.

the author clearly wanted to portray a sort of "catcher in the rye" type story,

but i found its depressing qualities slightly heavier than its inspiring ones.

it also included a couple (non-vulgar) sexual scenes,

which doesn't suite my taste.

i'd only recommend this book to a select few

who wouldn't find my same distaste in those scenes.

my name is tom

my grandma told me to write a song

about how i feel:

i will.

sorry though, i probably won't share it with you.

& at once i knew

sometimes,

i just want to run away

& never come back.

this world is so big

& so beautiful.

i want to see it all.

i want to help others.

i want to feel like i'm apart of something

that's bigger than myself & the people in this city.

i don't know how to explain it;

this wanderlust within.

it seems to be my one consistently

reccuring dream.

more than love

of all the poets & poems out there,

this is one of my most favorite

written by one of my favorites.

"annabel lee"  by: edgar allan poe

it was many & many a year ago,

in a kingdom by the sea,

that a maiden there lived whom you may know

by the name of annabel lee;

& this maiden she lived with no other thought

than to love & be loved by me.

i was a child & she was a child,

in this kingdom by the sea;

but we loved with a love that was more than love-

i & my annabel lee.

with a love that the winged seraphs of heaven

coveted her & me.

& this was the reason that, long ago,

in this kingdom by the sea,

a wind blew out of a cloud, chilling

my beautiful annabel lee;

so that her highborn kinsman came

& bore her away from me,

to shut her up in a sepulchre

in this kingdom by the sea.

the angels, not half so happy in heaven,

went envying her & me-

yes!- that was the reason (as all men know,

in this kingdom by the sea.)

that the wind came out of the cloud by night,

chilling & killing my annabel lee.

but our love it was stronger by far than the love

of those who were older than we-

of many far wiser than we-

& neither the angels in heaven above,

nor the demons down under the sea,

can ever dissever my soul from the soul

of the beautiful annabel lee.

for the moon never beams without bringing me dreams

of the beautiful annabel lee;

& the stars never rise but i feel the bright eyes

of the beautiful annabel lee;

& so, all the night-tide, i lie down by the side 

of my darling- my darling- my life & my bride,

in the sepulchre there by the sea,

in her tomb by the sounding sea.

all hallows' eve

this halloween was a blast!
i went to several parties
 in several different costumes.

party #1:  hallow-funka-ween
costume:  pirate

party #2:  random house party
costume:  pirate (with 5 minutes notice, courtesy of l. walker's brother)

party #3:  avenue house party
costume:  the holidays
meg was valentine's day
laci was st. patrick's day
lindsay s. was mother's day
kalli was the 4th of july
sara was pioneer day
amber was halloween
i was thanksgiving
lindsay w. was christmas
& carson was just a scary guy

party #4:  the institute party
costume:  snow white & the 7 dwarfs

i was grumpy

megan was doc

lindsay s. was sneezy

sara was sleepy

kalli was dopey

laci was happy

emma was bashful

& lindsay w. was snow white!

we were seriously the hit costumes of this party.

at least 10 people asked to take picture of/with us.

definitely a halloween to remember!

love

i absolutely love this engagement video.

Emmy + Josh:  Polaroid Engagement from Nathan Pickett on Vimeo.

i think it would be cool to go into wedding videography.

"prufrock is like my mantra"

i just saw this movie:

& i loved it;

definitely a new favorite.

naturally,

it's reinforced my dream of paris

& its romance & magic.
but it also made me realize that my dream of paris
could not be satiated by simply living in paris.
i must be one who works
to make my dreams my realities.
just as life in a different era could not be more satisfying
than life in the present.
(which is what the protagonist in this movie struggles with thinking.)
i love it.

a few of my favorite quotes from this movie include:
"that's what the present is.
it's a little unsatisfying because life is unsatisfying."

"the artist's job is not to succumb to despair

but to find an antidote for the emptiness of existence."

"no subject is terrible if the story is true,

if the prose is clean & honest,

& it affirms courage & grace under pressure."

"you'll never be a good writer if you fear dying.  do you?"

"yeah, i do. i would say it's my greatest fear."

laguna 2011

this is a video my mom asked me to make

of her trip to laguna with friends.

enjoy!

soldiers & parachutes

1) i love ingrid's red hair in the parachute video

2) she has a way of putting girly emotions into catchy lyrics

3) i don't really have a 3rd reason for posting these videos other than my current relation to the lyrics

(sort of). 

oh also, i was recently told i ought to cut my hair in this style:

now, you guys know as well as i do that i could never & would never cut my hair this short.

but if there were ever a time to try & convince me to do so, now would be it.

so tell me, what do you think?

to cut or not to cut?

ntlpd

happy national talk like a pirate day!

zap like that

i've been terrible at posting lately.

i apologize.

since i've come home from byu-i, california, & bear lake

i have been very busy.

rachel left for usu on monday.

i started my job on monday.

dental assistant [woot woot!]

i need to move into rachel's old room.

lindsay came home from california.

i have missed her way too much.

now i just need to get back into the swing of things.

balancing

family, friends, work, sleep, eat, play.

while searching for a job,

i couldn't plan enough activities to fill up my time.

now, i don't have enough time to complete all my planned activities.

searching for apartments to possibly move out in may?

searching for a car to maybe purchase this year?

stressful future planning.

c'est la vie.

life is good.

will be young forever

well folks, i got a job.

i'm a dental assistant at wall family dentistry.

finally;  some income.

finally;  something to do.

i'm ready to keep going forward with life.

i've loved being home.

the first friend i saw go out on his mission returned last week.

it's strange, but it feels so natural hanging out with him.

it's like he never left, & we all love it.

have a good day!

three little words

you've got mail

i'm in love with this movie!

kathleen:  what will ny152 say today, i wonder.  i turn on my computer.  i wait impatiently as it connects.  i go online, & my breath catches in my chest until i hear three little words: you've got mail.  i hear nothing.  not even a sound on the streets of new york, just the beating of my own heart.  i have mail.  from you.

kathleen:  the odd thing about this form of communication is that you're more likely to talk about nothing than something.  but i just want to say that all this nothing has meant more to me than so many somethings.

joe:  oh!  i was eloquent!

kathleen:  sometimes i wonder about my life.  i lead a small life - well, valuable, but small - & sometimes i wonder, do i do it because i like it, or because i haven't been brave?  so much of what i see reminds me of something i read in a book, when shouldn't it be the other way around?  i don't really want an answer. i just want to send this cosmic question out into the void.  so good night, dear void.

joe:  pride & prejudice.
kathleen:  do you mind?
joe:  i bet you read that book every year.  i bet you just love that mr. darcy & your sentimental heart just beats wildly at the thought that he & umm.. well, you know... whatever her name is... are truly, honestly going to end up together.
waiter:  can i get you something?
kathleen:  no, no!  he's not staying.
joe:  mochaccino.  decaf.  nonfat.
kathleen:  no, no.  you are not staying.
joe:  i'll just stay here until your friend gets here.  gee, is he late?
kathleen:  the heroin of pride & prejudice is elizabeth bennet.  she is one of the greatest & most complex characters ever written.  not that you would know.
joe:  as a matter of fact, i've read it.
kathleen:  oh, well, good for you.
joe:  i think you'd discover a lot of things if you really knew me.

frank:  what about you?  is there someone else?

kathleen:  no.  no, but... but there's the dream of someone else.

joe:  you know, sometimes i wonder...

kathleen:  what?

joe:  well... if i hadn't been fox books & you hadn't been the shop around the corner, & you & i had just, well... met...

kathleen:  i know.

joe:  yeah.  i would have asked for your number, & i wouldn't have been able to wait twenty-four hours before calling you & saying, "hey, how about... oh, how about some coffee or, you know, drinks or dinner or a movie... for as long as we both shall live?"

kathleen:  joe...

joe:  & you & i would have never been at war.  & the only thing we'd fight about would be which video to rent on a saturday night.

kathleen:  well, who fights about that?

joe:  well, some people.  not us.

kathleen:  we would never.

joe:  if only.

kathleen:  i gotta go...

joe:  well, let me ask you something.  how can you forgive this guy for standing you up & not forgive me for this tiny little thing of... of putting you out of business?  oh, how i wish you would.

kathleen:  i really have to go.

joe:  yeah, well... you don't wanna be late.

"this is the estimation in which you hold me"

this semester i have been taking american literature: modern & realism.

we've (obviously) been reading a whole lot of modern or realist novels & poems.

& though these are beautiful pieces, that amaze me & constantly leave me thinking "man, i wish i wrote that..."
i can only handle so much, for so long.

i'm a romantic.

i need spurts of hope, love & beauty found in mankind.

i can only handle novels like as i lay dying by william faulkner for so long.

beautifully disturbing; remarkable... but nonetheless disturbing.

i think it's time to read pride & prejudice again.

kicks & giggles

my capstone teacher sounds like this guy:

(kronk)

my plant sciences class sounds like owen wilson:


oh & i love this commercial more & more every time i watch it

shark v.s mermaids

i want: this.

i think it is sweet.
oh & check out these action shots of me during the half marathon!

enjoy:

to: the people off sugar

last night i had a dream that i went behind the backs of the people i'm "competing" against in our stand against sugar;  i ate a blueberry pop-tart & didn't confess my wrong-doing.

the terrible thing about this dream was that i didn't remember actually eating the pop-tart, & all the joy that doing so would entail.  all i could remember was the guilt eating away at me afterward.*

this morning, the lingering guilt made it difficult to determine if it actually happened or was merely a dream.  don't worry though.  i figured out that it was just a dream.

*i guess the moral of this story is that no matter how tempting a sin might appear, the pain of its consequences & the regret that follows afterward is much more demanding upon our memory.