i wonder what it's all about

on wednesday,

i wasn't feeling too happy.

i was driving around sulking when i saw a homeless man

standing on the side of the road holding a sign that read,

"honest & hungry".

i thought to myself,

"anna, when was the last time you gave to a homeless person?"

(i used to all the time).

i think the combination of this man's sign,

my situation,

& my mood

made me realize something important.

even though i may have hard times,

i still have a roof over my head,

family & friends who love & care about me,

good health,

a decent job,

& a full life ahead of me.

so you know what i thought next?

"sir, i like your sign.  & because i am not happy,

i want to make you happy."

so you know what i did?

i gave him all the cash in my wallet.

(granted) it was only a cluster of ones (i think),

but still, it was a decently sized cluster.

i don't know how much money i gave him,

but i don't care.

it felt so... relieving.

nothing does the heart more good

than a handful of service.

since that fateful night,

i have decided to make a goal.

it's a kind of late new year's resolution,

but i vote it still counts.

my goal will be to keep service in my heart;

to stop focusing on myself.

more specifically,

to volunteer at the homeless shelter

[at least] once every two weeks.

it's not much to start with, but, baby steps.

i miss this:

serving children who love & adore you so fully,

without any expectations.