buckets of moonbeams in my hands

my life of late has been evolving rapidly.

so. guess. what.

i applied for a part-time writing position at the cottonwood-holladay journal,

& they called me back to schedule an interview for the position!

i am so excited.

finally a "real life" job that i may actually be sincerely interested in.

i mean, dentistry is great, but i've come to learn it's really not for me.

just because you can do something well doesn't mean you should do it, right?

where is the passion in that?

anywhooo

so in addition to this interview,

my dating life has taken a turn for the best this past month.

i've been on several dates which have all turned out exceedingly well.

i am very happy.

but guess what now...

i have been the worst kind of procrastinator.

despite my position in the dental field, i have ignored my need for wisdom teeth removal.

now, i am suffering near-excruciating jaw pain (resonating through my sinus & lymph nodes).

i made an emergency appointment this thursday at 1:20pm to have them removed.

yikes!

but, i'm also sortof excited.

i always love the hilarious stories that come from post-extraction situations.

who knows what i may do... so folks, beware.

oh! one last thing.

my dear friend kalli & i were scheduled to attend the black keys concert

this wednesday evening.

but due to a family tragedy, kalli can't come!

that would be the 3rd concert in a row i'd be attending alone.

friend, after friend, after friend couldn't come,

until dearest conley agreed to suffer my company for a few hours at the concert.

phew. i won't be alone.

i love these guys.

porcelain fists

well folks,

my sister told me i'm officially a loser.

haha, due to my friends' procrastination habits,

i ended up going to another concert by myself last night.

ingrid michaelson

it was fantastic!

ingrid is hilarious, & i loved everything about the concert;

the stage set up, the songs, & the crowd.

when i got home, i tweeted

"went to the @ingridmusic concert tonight. by myself. again. it's becoming a habit. #imaloser #nbd".

& GUESS WHAT

elliot jacobson (ingrid's drummer) tweeted me back saying,

"@annadiederich not a loser. thank you for coming!"

haha, so my day was made complete when i woke up this morning to find that tweet.

exciting huh?

enjoy some of the songs she performed last night ever so magically.

in your light

my life has changed over the weekend.
i am feeling so happy!
there are bittersweet emotions this week though.
my good friend megan is leaving to serve an lds mission in albania tomorrow.
although i will miss her immensely, i am so excited for her!
this is a fantastic adventure, & she will have the time of her life
learning things she'll treasure the rest of her life.
friday night we had a sleepover with some of our closest girl friends
as a "goodbye sleepover".
here's a short video of our night together.



life is rad.
don't waste it on petty emotions.

the roses are in my hand

i discovered a new side of beauty to this song last week

& have been mauling over how to express to you what it means to me since then.

dreaming with a broken heart  by: john mayer

when you're dreaming with a broken heart

the waking up is the hardest part.

you roll out of bed, & down on your knees,

& for a moment you can hardly breathe.

wondering, was she really here?

is she standing in my room?

no, she's not.

'cause she's gone, gone, gone, gone, gone.

when you're dreaming with a broken heart

the giving up is the hardest part.

she takes you in with her crying eyes

then, all at once, you have to say goodbye.

wondering, could you stay, my love?

will you wake up by my side?

no, she can't.

'cause she's gone, gone, gone, gone, gone.

now do i have to fall asleep with roses in my hand?

do i have to fall asleep with roses in my hand?

do i have to fall asleep with roses in my hand?

do i have to fall asleep with roses in my, roses in my hand?

would you get them if i did?

no, you won't.

'cause you're gone, gone, gone, gone, gone.

when you're dreaming with a broken heart

the waking up is the hardest part.

many people look at this song as a break-up song,  as do i.

however, i think it also proves worthy of being representative of any kind of lost love.

whether that's due to death, distance, broken relationships, or spiritual heartbreak.

for simplicity's sake though,

i want to talk about how this song applies to my current single status.

what originally caught my attention was the ever-romantic lyrics,

"& for a moment you can hardly breathe,

wondering, was she really here?"

it's that feeling of being so humbled by a lost love,

you are amazed that it could ever have existed.
that that person could ever have stood in your room;

breathtaking.
& then there's:

"do i have to fall asleep with roses in my, roses in my hand?

would you get them if i did?

no, you won't.

'cause you're gone, gone, gone, gone, gone."

i have felt this way not just in relationships, but in friendships as well.

wanting so desperately to give everything you have to someone,

but realizing you can't because they're "gone".

roses generally symbolize love,

but they can also represent things that are sweet, lovely, or beautiful.

the roses i wish i could give
are the words i never said.

the things i always felt,
but never expressed in full.

& i dream of giving them, not necessarily to bring someone back,

rather, to simply let them know how it was for me.

there's also a part of me that just loves to make people happy.

i want to tell someone how much i admire, adore, appreciate, & love them,

but in waking up, i realize i can't.

they're not mine to admire, adore, appreciate, or love anymore.

they're gone.

there's so much more to this song than i can express in this simple blog post.

i love it so much,

that in just writing out what it means to me--

i get that hard lump that hurts caught in the middle of my throat.

so just listen & feel.
watch & enjoy.

free bird

book #5  outliers  by: malcolm gladwell

rating:  8

i generally don't read self-help or psychology books,

but i found this one very interesting.

gladwell discusses his theory on how people rise to success.

he suggests that it isn't simply luck & innovative hardwork

that creates people like steve jobs, rather,

people are born into prime situations that mobilizes the opportunity for their success.

i found this book to be a bit inspiring in looking at success.

i would recommend it to any person of highschool age + looking at life's possibilities,

as well as anyone looking to have a good (fairly easy) read.

the whole time i was reading outliers,

i couldn't help but examine the areas in my life which were

applicable to what gladwell was discussing;

dreams, life, careers etc.

& as i examined my own life,

i was constantly reminded of my free bird necklace:

a beautiful necklace that has a gold feather charm on it.

when i was given this necklace for christmas, i loved the style & beauty of it,

but what i found myself loving even more was what it represented;

accompanying it was a title card inside the box reading,

"FREE BIRD

make a wish & put on your necklace.  feathers are symbols of freedom.

they awaken our curiosity & open our hearts & minds to possibility.

wear your necklace as a reminder to follow your dreams..."

those of you who know me know that i am a dreamer.

i am a romantic, an idealist, a free spirit.

& when i read books like outliers & wear necklaces that represent being a free bird,

i am filled with an elated sense of possibility.

life is beautiful, daunting, & open to me.

two months ago, my boyfriend broke up with me.

(i doubt that comes as a surprise to anyone who reads my posts).

when someone i am crazy about puts me in a hopeless state of mind,

i try so hard to focus on anything but what's going on inside.

so, like any mature college student,

i started looking for ways i could runaway from my current situation.

in short,

the night after carson broke up with me i applied for

the university of alaska southeast (juneau campus).

i got in!

i was to go there fall of 2012 & time couldn't move fast enough.

it has been a dream of mine since junior high to live in alaska.

the mountains, trees, ocean life, weather & seclusion of it all is so enticing to me.

alas, this dream will have to wait a little longer.

last week i had an emotional break down,

when i realized that the combined expenses of tuition, housing, & cost of living

would be too much for what i can [independently] make before i'd leave.

i'm trying to stand on my own two feet.

i want to move out & slowly ween myself off of my parents' money.

the ability to do so before i'm married & have to is another dream of mine.

some dreams have to be put on the back-burner while other ones take precedence.

alaska will have to wait.

independence comes first.

anyway,

what i'm trying to convey to you is not how dreams come true,

rather, that they can come true.

maybe not all at once,

but eventually.

i sincerely hope you all have a good day today, folks.

enjoy!

flashback

driving home from st. george today,

rachel's ipod threw me back to elementary school/junior high days.

back when my sister was getting albums like:

i was whistling the tune to a different genre.

besides the music i got from dad, albums like:

were what filled my original ipod mini.

i was always the edgy, different sister,

rachel was always the blue-eyed angel.

i couldn't help but laugh as the following songs played on rachel's ipod

& as i happily sang every word by heart.