tonight i attended the ghostly folk opera: deep love.
written (& performed) by my friends ryan hayes & garrett sherwood.
this performance blew me away. the passion & pain intertwined within the lyrics was absolutely beautiful when combined with the voices of erica rascon (as constance), mallorie lamb (as florence), garrett sherwood (as friedrich), & jon peter lewis (as old bones).
my favorite songs were part v: friedrich's groove, part vi: something about today, & part xii: constance begone. & though i loved each of these pieces, i think, the mixture of garrett's coarse, but sincere voice, & the pain stretched through the lyrics made constance begone stand above the rest as utterly awesome.
i do have to say, hearing mallorie belt out her obsessive verse in part vii: all for love, definitely took my breath away; her amazing voice filled the tabernacle & left many in awe. her entrance & vocals were my favorite.
& then there is jon peter lewis as old bones. when he sang the lyrics "i swear by the sky, if you don't change your mind... i swear by the stars, if you don't turn your heart... i swear by my grave, if you don't hide my chain... oh, you will have to pay!" you could see the pain in his eyes. he was definitely the best performer in character.
& last but certainly not least, erica rascon as constance. watching her character's pain felt like watching a beautiful flower being torn to pieces by opposing winds. her soft soprano voice was so calming, & at times, enticing. during the final song, part xix: a long winter's rest, she really had the spotlight. her contrastingly high voice against the entire group of musicians & performers made for a perfect ending.
overall, this ghostly folk opera made one heck of a night. stunning.
hey there folks. i'm missing ukraine right now. this week, for my russian class, we had to pass off what is called "master tasks". in other words, we go & have a specific conversation with an instructor, in russian. i was surprised with how well i did. ^_^ & after we completed the assignment, we sat & tried to carry on a real conversation using what snippets of russian i know. i loved it. i'm so excited for the day when i can feel confidant in my knowledge of this language!
ps: contrary to popular belief, the russian nickname for anastasia is actually not anya. it's nastia.
i ran into my friend garrett the other night, after he had one the school's poetry contest "last poet standing". after watching this on youtube, i wished i had gone to see this last performance. what an awesome poet.
i have felt so overwhelmed with homework lately, especially this past weekend.
so yesterday, when i went to bed, i felt like this:
& today, while i was walking home from class, i was listening to this song:
now, i feel an immense sense of peace & relief.
i just read an email from one of my dearest friends, bearing her testimony on how important it is to take life one day at a time & on how much of a difference it makes to know the pure & simple love of God; it brings such joy into one's life. what a beautiful example this friend is to me. i will be forever grateful for her.
i am truly blessed to have friends & family in my life, who continually uplift me & stick with me through my troubled times.
the older i get, the more i realize just how important family is. saturday, while i was running, i was listening to:
[awkward running song, i know, but it's impossible for me to listen to music that doesn't describe the way i feel].
as i listened to this song, & pondered its lyrics, i felt an overwhelming sense of gratitude. how blessed am i to have family in my life who have sacrificed so much for me to be where i am today! how blessed am i to have friends in my life, who despite my challenges, have remained close to me, forever uplifting my spirits & encouraging me to do good!
to all of you who have been there for me in my life, thank you.
the presence of your memory has filled my heart with joy & gratitude.
no matter what stage i am at in my life, i know that right now, i have only things to be grateful for & need only to continue living my life in the light of Christ & the example of those i have around me.
i just received an invitation to an ilp video contest. (this is the program i went to china & ukraine with).
in order to enter this contest, you are supposed to make a 2-4 minute video about an experience you had with ilp, & they want you to get creative! the winner gets $500, 2nd place gets $300 & 3rd place gets $200. i am sooooo stoked.
during this semester, i've been on an imovie spree. & the majority of my footage is from china or ukraine. needless to say, i will definitely be entering this contest, if not for the chance at some big bucks, just to have an excuse to make another movie!
once i've made & entered my movie, i believe they'll be posting it on youtube & the person with the most "likes" will win. so i'll be sure to let y'all know when/if it's posted!
ps: for those of you care, which of these should i modify & enter, or at least make one similar to?
Count Leo Tolstoy, the great Russian author, statesman, and philosopher, held [this] opinion as to the possible future destiny of the “American religion” founded under the instrumentality of the Prophet Joseph Smith.
Thomas J. Yates related an experience he had while a student at Cornell University in 1900. He had the privilege of meeting Dr. Andrew D. White, former president of Cornell and, at the time, U.S. Ambassador to Germany. Upon learning that Mr. Yates was a Mormon, Dr. White made an appointment to spend an evening with him, at which time he related an experience he had had with Count Tolstoy while serving as U.S. Foreign Minister to Russia in 1892. Dr. White visited often with Count Tolstoy, and upon one occasion they discussed religion. We quote from Elder Yates’ account of this discussion, as related to him by Dr. White:
“Dr. White,” said Count Tolstoy, “I wish you would tell me about your American religion.”
“We have no state church in America,” replied Dr. White.
“I know that, but what about your American religion?”
Patiently then Dr. White explained to the Count that in America there are many religions, and that each person is free to belong to the particular church in which he is interested.
To this Tolstoy impatiently replied: “I know all of this, but I want to know about the American religion. Catholicism originated in Rome; the Episcopal Church originated in England; the Lutheran Church in Germany, but the Church to which I refer originated in America, and is commonly known as the Mormon Church. What can you tell me of the teachings of the Mormons?”
“Well,” said Dr. White, “I know very little concerning them. They have an unsavory reputation, they practice polygamy, and are very superstitious.”
Then Count Leo Tolstoy, in his honest and stern, but lovable, manner, rebuked the ambassador. “Dr. White, I am greatly surprised and disappointed that a man of your great learning and position should be so ignorant on this important subject. The Mormon people teach the American religion; their principles teach the people not only of Heaven and its attendant glories, but how to live so that their social and economic relations with each other are placed on a sound basis. If the people follow the teachings of this Church, nothing can stop their progress — it will be limitless. There have been great movements started in the past but they have died or been modified before they reached maturity. If Mormonism is able to endure, unmodified, until it reaches the third and fourth generation, it is destined to become the greatest power the world has ever known.”
(From The Improvement Era, February 1939 [vol. 42], p. 94.)
Because of his discussion with Count Tolstoy, upon his return to the United States Dr. White secured a set of the Church works and placed them in the Cornell University Library.
(LeGrand Richards, A Marvelous Work and a Wonder, pp. 412–414)
we read this in my russian literature class yesterday & it made me very proud to hear. so i thought i'd share it with you all.
so earlier this week i was thinking, "i never get ready for my 9am russian class." it's always after class that i come home & make myself presentable. so today, i got up extra early & got ready. the whole shebang... make up, hair, clothes... i looked good.
when i walked into class, my friend looks at me with eyes saying "i didn't know anna could ever look like this!" but he says to me, "wow! where's your motorcycle?" boom baby!
through out the rest of class, & the day, these were my thoughts:
as well as a few kindof like this:
& well, i didn't really feel this way, but i listened to this song & it made me even happier:
i'm not very good at hiding my emotion from my face (or so i'm told).
saturday i was walking home from running, disappointed & upset with myself because i could only run 3.25 (instead of 3.5) miles that day. & as i was walking, i assume, my face clearly defined how i was feeling with the bright red color (from running) adding intensity.
i was almost at my apartment when this guy walked past me. & as we passed each other, he looked up at me & growled.
literally growled. rarr. but i was too exhausted & lost in my own world to retaliate.
so yeah... just thought i'd share this funny story with ya.
oh & here's another song/video i love (the music starts at 1:22).
in my advanced writing & reading 201 class, we were assigned groups in which we had to collaboratively write a critique essay. my group chose to critique henry david thoreau's "where i lived & what i lived for". we split it up into five sections. i was in charge of critiquing thoreau's language use.
check it.
yeah, that's right. (my section of the paper) solid work!
&
that's how i do.
in a time when i'm swamped with homework, barely keeping my head above water,
there is no better feeling than seeing this on an important assignment.
yesterday i had a really good day. whatever i was doing, no matter how plain of an activity, i felt content. i love feeling content. here's a list of good things that happened yesterday.
i ran some errands, getting minor things done that i've needed to do for a long time.
i went for a walk around town, in the best kind of weather; light jacket weather.
while i was walking, a man driving a school bus honked & waved at me. so friendly, & so strange, it kept my mind occupied for a good two hours wondering who it might have been.
i did some research on evolution in the library--the first time i've ever utilized the mckay library, so i was proud of my success.
i got a check cashed that i'd been meaning to cash, but because of a silly fear of having the bank reject helping me (because i'm not a member), i hesitated... for a year.
i was happy the whole time i ran my 3.5 miles!
i made my running schedule (for the marathon) on a spreadsheet & it looked so nice & professional once it was finished.
i defended michelle off the bachelor to my roommates, making me feel like a better person than i was the day before yesterday.
i realized i had my homework done for the next week in my family foundations class.
i didn't feel myself giving a dirty look to a cute couple i saw on campus.
without any outside influence, i found a reason within myself to smile & chuckle to myself while in public, on campus.
my roommate told me she thinks of me as an "ingrid michaelson" type of a singer.
it was a special day for me & my friend leah.
i caught myself feeling really smart reading out of the huge encyclopedia of human biology.
i went to bed & had no trouble falling peacefully asleep.
for those of you who don't know me-- ah, who am i kidding? anyone reading this knows me.
ok, so, for those of you who didn't know this about me:
i fall in love with people's writing.
sometimes, when i read a line i just think, "wow." & then i feel a combination of jealousy, awe & attraction towards the person who wrote that line. ok, not always do i feel attracted to them, but seriously... when that guy wants to make me his own one day, he's gotta make my knees go weak through his sentence structure & word choice.
so i've been reading in crime & punishment all day, & just barely i ran across the line
"the black snake of wounded self-esteem had preyed on his heart all night."
& boy, did my knees start a-knockin' in awe.
dostoevsky's ability to convey such an awesome & terrible power with his words stuns me.
ever since i was a little girl, i dreamed of being a musician.
when deciding what instrument skill would best help me achieve this dream, i remember telling my dad, "nobody plays the piano in rock bands."
how wrong i was.
as i try to keep up on my past knowledge of the keyboard, i am simultaneously accepting the fact that my voice is not what it used to be, & also trying to pick up the guitar.
i still dream of being a musician.
if i ever make my dream come true, i'd have these folks/songs to thank for inspiration.
tonight i attended the rexburg tabernacle orchestra. after leaving this beautiful performance, i walked home with much on my mind. thoughts such as,
"if anyone offers me a ride home, i'll decline the offer saying it's healthy to walk,"
"...my hair looks better in the rain too."
"if i text my friends more when i don't have facebook, am i really moderating my technological uses?"
"i have a lot of homework to do."
"i'm coming to such great understandings of what it means to be alive & active in this gospel through my family foundations class."
"i need to write these thoughts in my journal."
"i want to be someone who people i look up to, look down at me & say: she's something else."
"something special."
"am i the only one who ever feels as though they are destined to be a person who does great things?"
"maybe not do great things, but be a great person."
"i feel different."
"i have the capacity to understand when something is truly great."
"i am capable of being someone intelligent, with great purpose."
"maybe this is why i try to take on tasks well beyond my ability."
"but how can i become that when i'm stuck doing small things like this?"
"i feel like raskolnikov."
"am i seeing similarities between myself & the superfluous men in these russian novels because they exist, or because i want them to?"
"maybe i'm not a superfluous man; i'm the noble woman, like tatyana."
"& maybe, i won't be the star in my life. that will be my husband."
"he will be different & because he is different, he will recognize why i am special."
"he will recognize why i am worth while."
"i'm different."
& then i arrived at my home. i sat down at my desk & turned on my computer. as i opened an email my dad sent me, i couldn't help but think,
"this is what i'm talking about."
"i can do these things."
"i just need to work."
then i opened the link he sent too. & while i watched it, i couldn't help but get a little teary-eyed.
"what this team has done is amazing."
"they are special people."
"they are capable of greatness & they have achieved greatness."
now here i am, left in awe. & wanting to show you what my dad showed me. because i don't understand computers/computer history the way my dad does, i'll share with you his words rather than rephrase it myself.
so here's the email from dad:
Kids,
You live in an amazing time. When I was born, IBM's computers were each as big as a truck, and though they could do little more than add numbers very fast, they changed the world in monumental ways back then. The internet didn't even exist, let alone facebook or texting.
For years, IBM has used the word "THINK"as their primary motto. The laptop I use at work is called a "Thinkpad". The word inspires and reminds their employees of their ultimate goal and purpose. This past year IBM (a company that started out making mechanical typewriters) finally produced a machine that can do just that, and it rivals the human brain. By the time you are my age, even more amazing machines may be constructed at the atomic level, being so small that you will need a microscope to see them. They may be injected inside your body to monitor or repair it. But they could also be designed to destroy it. (a real, and deadly, computer virus). Above all, it's important to remember where these machines came from. They weren't delivered by aliens. They weren't dreamed up in a few nights by a few geniuses. These great accomplishments were made by thousands of very simple people, many of whom are quite smart, but most of whom are not all that different from each of you.
You don't need to be nerds to be great, but you do need to work hard. You also need to be strong, embrace discipline, and defend right principles -- to ensure that your generation does not destroy or neglect the great things others have achieved before you. Learn anxiously -- as much as you can. Be a part of man's great journey to explore his potential. Follow a vision bigger than yourself, and find your own way to contribute to it. Your kids someday will benefit by what your generation has done. And hopefully, they will appreciate and build upon it.
i am so excited to have my own mini-library when i have my own place.
barnes & noble is the best place to spend a saturday.
i love books. so far my library consists of:
crime & punishment, eugene onegin, a hero of our time, fathers & children, the inspector general (& other russian plays), the death of ivan illych, family happiness, kruetzer sonata, short stories by chechov, the cherry orchard, one day in the life of ivan denisovich, the queen of spades (& other short stories), anna karenina, notes from underground, the double (& other short stories), the overcoat (& other short stories), the brothers karamazov, the little prince, the last promise, pride & prejudice, emma, the poisonwood bible, ralph waldo emerson (selected essays, lectures, & poems), tales (the poems & short stories by edgar allan poe), the harry potter series, their eyes were watching god, angels & demons, digital fortress, the davinci code, walden, cats cradle, slaughterhouse five, the book of mormon (in russian), the autobiography of a yogi, haiku (a book of japanese poems), grapes of wrath, on the road, leaves of grass, of mice & men & where the wild things are.
today i picked up my package from barnes & noble, adding:
norwegian wood, the catcher in the rye, nine stories (a collection of short stories by j.d. salinger) & east of eden to my list.
"satan also strives to entice the sons and daughters of God to minimize the importance of their physical bodies. this particular type of attack is most subtle and diabolical."
-elder david a. bednar "things as they really are"
after hearing this talk once again, i've decided to say so long to facebook.
whether this is a temporary parting or not, i'm sick of people only communicating (or looking at my page thinking they're communicating) via facebook.
yeah, yeah, yeah. i know. "it's not all bad".
everything in moderation.
i've been on facebook almost everyday for the past who knows how long, & i think it's time to moderate that worthless habit.
